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DOEE

Department of European Efficiency

Celebrating Europe's most gloriously unnecessary paperwork, with love and lavender-scented satire.

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Blog

The 47-Page Permit to Relocate a Flower Pot

In 2018, a café owner in France dared to move a lavender pot 1.2 meters. 6 months and 47 pages later, a legend was born.

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The Panini That Broke the Parliament

A toasted sandwich, a linguistic debate, and four EU committees. The perfect lunch break disaster.

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A Cheese by Any Other Name

How a Wallonian soft cheese spent six months in regulatory limbo. Spoiler: the butterfly was the problem.

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Meet the Commissioner

Commissioner of Vegetal Relocation

Claude Bureaumaison

Commissioner for Vegetal Relocation

Specialist in duplicate stamps, lavender logistics, and pan-European pot repositioning protocols. Claude has personally reviewed 3,108 forms related to shrubbery.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is DOEE a real EU agency?

Absolutely not. But we dress like one, speak like one, and overuse acronyms like one. So legally... maybe?

Where do you get your stories?

Some are true, most are too true to verify. Our main source is whispers from bureaucrats at coffee machines.

How can I submit my own inefficiency experience?

Send it via the contact page. We accept PDFs, pigeon-mail, and scrolls signed by at least three minor officials.